I’m working on a more “typical” post for y’all, I promise! I’m just having a rough time getting through my thoughts. I have a lot to say about our first, third, and fourth miscarriages, but not a lot to say about the second. The first shook me the hardest, the third made us “officially” part of the 1% that experience recurrent pregnancy loss, and the fourth was the biggest emotional roller coaster of them all. I’m getting there, I just need a little more time- it’s important to me that each loss is given the same amount of attention. So, in the meantime, I want to share with you two short, ironic stories.

Child-Bearing Hips

Back in high school, a good friend and I were getting into my parents’ hot tub. This friend, being particularly skinny with minimal curves, told me that I had “child-bearing hips”. She sincerely meant this as a compliment, and I took it as such; she wished that her body had the curves that mine did.

The irony sort of slaps you in the face though, doesn’t it? A comment about my physique long before trying to have children is currently the complete opposite. My hips may be wide, but they are not yet child-bearing.

What a Lonely Life

This little story happened a few years ago, probably in 2018 or 2019. My husband, Sam, and I were coming home from a walk when we came across a yard full of children. They started asking us a bunch of random questions- “which house is yours?”, “are you two married?”, “what colors are your cars?”

We answered their questions and were about to head home when the youngest child stepped forward to ask us one last question.
“Do you have any children?”
“No,” we told her, “not yet, anyway.”
“What a lonely life,” she responded.

Although we found her response hilarious (and still do, actually), it can sometimes be uncomfortable to think about. I often wish I could see into the future- do we eventually have children? If not, are we lonely?