Mary Jane (MJ) and I found each other in June of 2014. I had just quit my first professional job (selling radio ads in Madison), broken up with Sam, packed my car, and drove alone to Colorado. I had a couple of good friends from college living out there and decided it was time to go on an adventure. I knew that Sam and I would eventually end up spending the rest of our lives together, but in that moment something pulled me away. Still being young at that time (much, much younger than I am now), it was likely my last chance to do something “crazy”, and I’m thankful for the experiences that came from it.

Within my first few weeks of being in Colorado, the landlord of our trailer park had caught a small, stray dog that had been wandering around the grounds for a couple of weeks. She had to lure this shy pup to her with uncooked hot dogs.

The landlord had asked my friends and me if we wanted her as she already had a dog, and she didn’t want another. I vividly remember the first time I saw MJ. It was through the living room window of the landlord’s trailer; her tail was wagging in excitement. We couldn’t immediately tell if she was old or young, but were later told by a vet that she was about 15 months old.

Her fur appeared to be well-maintained, but I quickly learned that she was simply malnourished; her fur wasn’t healthy enough to grow as quickly as it does now. She also had a tapeworm and I immediately addressed it. She wouldn’t eat dog food and would instead dig through the garbage. I soaked her food in chicken broth to make it that much more appetizing, and she slowly learned that she could do better than garbage for a meal.

The vet that told us her age had also said that she had already been in heat once and would likely go into heat again soon. Sure enough, shortly after bringing her home, she went into heat. She was small enough that the puppy diapers I bought for her didn’t fit, so I ended up buying preemie (human) diapers and poked holes in the back for her tail; those worked really well, if you’re wondering.

Being in heat totally changed her personality, and since I didn’t know her all that well prior to her going into heat, I sometimes thought that she was a total nightmare and I wasn’t sure if even I liked her all that much.

When I decided it was time to move back to Wisconsin (a short three months later), I contacted a handful of people asking if they wanted a dog- I wasn’t sure I wanted to keep her, but I knew I wasn’t going to abandon her; I’d find her a good home. I can’t believe that I ever thought of not keeping her. My life would be so different without her and she has become such an important part of our lives.

Deciding to keep her, I packed her into my four-door sedan, and we drove the 16 hours (straight) back to Wisconsin. She slept most of the way, half on the armrest next to me and half on the back seat; I padded the space between the armrest and the back seat with pillows so that she’d be more comfortable.

At one stop, she ate my stick of beef jerky while I was inside using the bathroom. Other than that, the trip was uneventful.

My parents took MJ in for a few weeks while Sam and I looked for an apartment that allowed dogs. While taking care of her, my parents got her spayed. The vet had told them that responsible pet owners don’t really need to “fix” their pets, which we all thought was strange advice. And as MJ was still fairly new to us, we didn’t want her to run off and come back pregnant.

As they did the surgery, they found that her uterus was full of green mucus. They explained that it was as if she had miscarried a litter of puppies, but there weren’t any puppies formed and left inside her uterus. They also said that, had we not caught it, she likely would have gotten sick and would have died before we could have figured out what was wrong. I’m so thankful that my parents not only initiated (and paid for) her surgery, but that they didn’t follow the vet’s advice to just “keep an eye on her”.

I think I know why they didn’t find any puppies- maybe her loss was early like mine have been.

MJ and I found each other when we both needed someone special, and we were connected in ways I wouldn’t understand until years later.

Having just broken up with Sam, and not telling my family about my move until having been there for a few weeks, I was lonely. If it wasn’t for my friends, and for quickly finding a job, it would have been unbearable.

MJ slept with me every night and reminded me (both then and now) that I’m never completely alone.

These days, MJ prefers to sleep with Sam most nights (we sleep in different beds since I move around too much and he snores)- if she’s not with Sam, she’s alone on the couch. Me moving around a lot bugs her, too, apparently. But when I’m about to miscarry, she’ll spend the night with me. I know that if MJ sleeps by me when I’m newly pregnant, a miscarriage is coming.

Accepting that I was about to miscarry was cemented when MJ stayed with me instead of Sam a week into our fourth pregnancy. We were staying at a rental house with his family; his sister rented the house as a way to host us all for Christmas without all of us having to drive to Minnesota. Sam and I slept in a room with two beds, so naturally we each made our way into our own bed. Just before going to sleep, I found that I was spotting and my heart immediately sank. We could guess what was coming, but hoped things would be different this time… When MJ chose to sleep with me over Sam, we knew it was the start of another miscarriage.

I think she can sense the start of our losses because she has suffered a similar loss herself. I think, somewhere deep down in her little puppy brain, she’s comforting me by becoming so clingy. I don’t think she’s trying to warn me that a miscarriage is coming, she’s simply trying to remind me that I won’t be alone when it does.

We love our puppy princess Mary Jane and it’s clear that she was meant to be ours.