In honor of International Bereaved Mother’s Day, I want to talk about finding peace in the midst of trauma.

As part of Sexual Assault Awareness Month (April), I participated in an event called We Step Into the Light. I was randomly paired with an artist that was tasked with creating a work of art that represented me as a survivor of sexual assault. My artist and I spent about 15 minutes on zoom, discussing my past, present, and future. I explained that my husband and I spend a lot of time outdoors and that we find comfort in the calmness of nature. I told her that I’m most happy when I’m either in a hammock or in a kayak. I summarized my experiences (sexual assault and my recurrent miscarriages) with the word “peace”; I am at peace with my situation. I can accept that I have lived through a few traumatic experiences, and I know that none of those experiences were/are my fault. All I can do, if I want to find comfort and happiness, is process the pain and grief in an attempt to find peace. And fortunately, I have. I am at peace with all that I have been through, and I am at peace with the fact that I have no control over what has happened and what may happen next.

Here is what my artist, Sadie, wrote about the piece:

“Complicated Serenity”

“In this piece, I wanted to depict the feeling of being at peace despite the complicated experiences life can throw at you. The background is abstract and complex to highlight the chaos of life while also fluid and organic to highlight natural beauty and peace within the world. I included my muse’s favorite colors: purple, blue and yellow. My muse, Kat, enjoys the outdoors and relaxing in a hammock or kayak, so I included two people cuddling in a hammock to also emphasize the importance of human relationships and the support that loved ones provide us.”

Sadie totally nailed it. I’m so impressed with what she came up with after such a brief conversation. And now that the event has passed, this beautiful piece is displayed proudly in my living room. It will serve as a reminder that not only can peace be found, it can be created.

I hope that all bereaved mothers find peace, today and every day.